Saturday, June 9, 2007

My God... it's full of mirrors

I kind of get the feeling that DLP is talking down to me.

Girl: [gasps] "How is it possible?"

You mean the beam of light shooting into the air that has nothing to do with television? Or the appearance of the elephant behind you that also has nothing to do with television?

Girl: "Millions of tiny mirrors on something so small?"

Perhaps you'll tell me. What's that? You're going to do the opposite of telling me?

Girl: "I've never seen anything so colorful... so clear... so real."

"But you don't have to take my word for it! Actually, you do have to take my word for it, because I'll be damned if this commercial is going to show you something besides a kid in a field with an elephant."

Girl: [turning to elephant] "Have you?"

The elephant is not going to answer your question, sweetheart.

Girl: "It's amazing! It's the mirrors. We have to show everyone!"

Perhaps you should, since up to now all we've seen is a girl looking into a box. And as impressive as "millions of tiny mirrors" sounds, it's not like it means anything to the casual viewer. Frankly, it just sounds like I'm going to look at my new TV and see a big picture of myself.

Announcer: "HDTV powered by DLP. See how millions of tiny mirrors make the picture amazing."

For those of you scoring at home, that's two "amazing"s (excellent adjective variation) and three "mirrors." It's also zero explanations of how these mirrors might work at making the picture so good, in favor of one long patronizing "awestruck eight-year-old" speech. Call me crazy, but I'm not really impressed by a $5,000 TV whose main selling point is that it can distract a third-grader. Sure, the DLP's colors are great now, but in eight hours when she's wrapping Ken dolls in aluminum foil to play "Barbie in Space," I think Dad's going to wish he hadn't pulled out the credit card at Circuit City just because Mackenzie and her elephant had never seen anything so real before.

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